365 Opportunities

I'm not a big RESOLUTION person... generally, they're something to avoid on New Year's Day.  BUT... here I am a cross-road in my life.  Actively (and perhaps a bit frantically) trying to corral elusive clarity and nurture the fabled peace of "Simple Life."

November 1st is considered the Celtic New Year - and, as the traditional (i.e. American) New Year has historically been less than "successful" as a Change Catalyst in my life... I'm going to go for what worked for my ancestors. So, this New Year I'm going to... *drum roll please*... enrich my life 365 times, by reducing my possessions step-by-step, day-by-day, item-by-item for 365 days.

The idea is hardly original to me - no, all credit (at least in my case) goes to "365 Less Things" (http://www.365lessthings.com).  It's brilliant in it's (dare I say it??)... simplicity.  Beginning November 1st, I will select one item of my personal possessions and give it away every day for a year.  That means something of value - not broken, or ugly, or bound for the White Elephant event.  No... an item of beauty or usefulness or insight.  Something I valued at one time, but that no longer has an active use or place in my (diminishing) environment.

I'll take a picture and post it on my Facebook page - giving family and friends "first dibs" on the goodies destined for re-homing.  If someone wants it, all I'll ask for is the postage to get it from my door to theirs.  If, after 7 days, no one claims a particular memento of where and who I've been in past days - it will go to a local charity (on my way to the office), so that whatever specialness originally drew me to that particular item -- can enrich someone else's Here and Now.

A year is a long time, but I'm more than confident my many years of collecting (and hoarding) and trying to find happiness in *things* will sustain my efforts.  Not only that - but as these are only going to be items that I consider having value... those things that ARE broken, or ugly, or bound for the White Elephant event will leave too... under the guise of de-cluttering, simplifying, minimizing and re-prioritizing my life and the *things* that have earned a place in it.

It's scary - evaluating and letting go of things that used to define me (or at least I thought they did, at one point).  I've heard "the process" of simplifying gets easier as you go... I hope so.  I've spent a lifetime accumulating *things* to give myself a sense of security, an  illusion of success, the
trappings of "living."  As I look around my living room, memories flood back with the how's and who's and where's and why's.  Each item has a story and a reason for being in my life -- how do I choose what needs to move on?

I have a few days until this exercise begins.  I'm going to spend it carefully assessing the things I love that surround me... and decide which items will assist me in upcoming adventures, and those that will bring new pleasure to someone else.

My Goals for Today

It's Friday... today's goal is to continue to reach for happiness and fulfillment.  I will hold my dreams gently in my hands, and doggedly pursue the path between here and there.  I will treat others as I would treat myself - with compassion and patience, while maintaining a firm stance.  I will embrace and celebrate each small victory and step forward.  I will briefly mourn, and then study and learn from each set back.  Today's challenges are the cogs of progress... I will not struggle against them.  Instead, each slippery stone will be carefully examined and conquered, as I shorten the distance between now and then.  

Today will be fully experienced, so Tomorrow can be joyfully lived.

Evolving Simplicity

It's been a weird kind of year.  I feel as though I'm moving backwards in a way... instead of craving the secure trappings of middle-class wealth and the milestones, by which many others my age use to gauge their success and happiness... I find I want a life that is smaller, more simple and "less."  I've grappled for years, trying to accumulate the things that I thought would bring satisfaction - my own home, a cute car, the latest gizmos and trinkets. 

But, if anything, instead of cementing a sense of accomplishment and pleasure - I feel dissatisfied, bloated and lacking.

What does bring me pleasure?  Simple things that can't be bought.  Experiences that can't be monetarily valued.  Items that no one else sees "wealth" in, but me... The color of the oaks and maples as they fall to the wet, Pacific Northwest roads.  The lazy stretch of well-loved cat.  The smell of the soup on the stove.  Walking hand-in-hand with the person I love.

 Sunlight coloring a misty rainy morning.  The warmth of woolen mittens made by me.  Planning what kinds of hand-made gifts we'll make for the holidays.

I've battled the Demons of Depression and Self-Doubt almost constantly for the last year.  My health is deteriorating, as happens with any chronic condition - it's not unexpected, but it is demoralizing.  I've been distinctly unhappy with myself, my surroundings, and things & people outside of my control.  There's truth of the "Law of Attraction" -- like attracts like... darkness welcomes darkness.

Always the voracious reader, my literary adventures have lead me (more than once) toward the common themes of Simplicity and Simple Living.  Each article wrings sighs of hope and want from me.  I dream of quiet spaces, free of distractions and disharmony.  I crave the peaceful absence of civilized clutter and discordant noise.

The signs have been there... becoming more clear every day.  I *see* what is required to restore the balance that is so painfully lacking in my life.  In order to achieve MORE happiness and satisfaction, I must must have LESS spiritually nutrition-less "stuff" taking up so much space and care in my existence.  

I've read the books, the stories, the testimonials... they've rang true to what I think I've *known* for a long time.  I just have to concoct a plan of attack - a plan to take back my life.  

I need to put myself back in charge of deciding what's important, versus allowing things to tell me what is important and worthwhile.  I need to purge out the oily excess that darkens my vision, and obscures those things that have true worth.  I need to ruthlessly expel those unnecessary objects that litter my path to happiness - tripping me at every turn, and stubbing my toes as I bumble about in the murky shadows.

It's overwhelming.  But - like every big job, you have to pick a corner and start... moving forward, one step at a time.  Sometimes, getting pushed back, I'll have to stop for a moment and regroup.  I must stay true to my vision... 

I've spent half of my life trying to be and do what I *THOUGHT* I was supposed to... those things that were supposed to assure me happiness and security.  The second half of my life lies before me... this time, I'm doing what I *KNOW* I must do... those things that WILL care for me physically, nurture me emotionally, challenge me mentally, and feed me spiritually.